GR▲FIKS

Five PTT users have become famous in the Taiwanese BBS youth culture due to the number and quality of posts they make. They are called —— (五霸) (The Five Lords). The following are the user names and legends that have cropped up about the identity of these users based on what they have posted:

1.鄭公(Transfinite) (313B.C. -)

As the name suggests, his motto in life is living beyond the limit. While still a human being, he enthusiastically ate his own semen. For more than 10 years, he ate 20~30 c.c. of semen from himself each day.

One day on approximately 278 B.C., in front of a crowd, he flew away with only a bottle of semen, smiling. No one has ever seen him since.

2.柏油 (Boyo) (212B.C.-164B.C.)

A nice old guy with a barrel of gas, and BOOOM! That is the typical image of boyo in people’s thought.He is very nice, except when he bombs you out with gas. Fortunately, he bombs only bad guys, and always down to earth with friends.

One day in a historic explode event, he bombed over 20,000 gas cylinder at a same time, and died together with over 40,000 evil enemy troops. The great sacrifice turned the whole war around, and eventually saved millions of people from cruel reign. But now, after more than 1800 years of his death, many claim that they saw boyo. He is still caring a gas cylinder, moving to the next bad guy.

3.瓦哥(Segawar) (113-)

He transforms fast, and nobody knows his real name. He’s well-known for his mouth cannon, 30 cm-penis, and the addiction to have sex with elder women. After having sex with over 1,000 70+ old women, his legend lives on.

4.天哥(SkyMirage) (217-)

「阿，再研究看看！」(Ah, let’s research it later!) It’s the most known quote from him. He said the meaningful line after asked about his $100 billion fraud. The line is liked by everybody there, no matter men or women, old or young.

5.鯰姐(Sushiko) (445-)

The only female of The Five Lords. She is a hybrid of human and catfish, an impossibility in modern biology. But not for her. She exists and she enjoys the advantages of both human and catfish. She’s wise, like humans; she’s also poisonous and loves darkness, like catfishes.

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